second string socialites

  
I love the Olympics. But, I'm realizing that what I love most is watching the Olympic skiers. Maybe it's because I grew up on skis. I wonder if, with the right training and dedication, I cound have ever been a competitor... then during the commerical break I head to the fridge for another bowl of ice cream. So, probably not.

Let's start with the women. If you haven't seen her crash, just take my word for it. Lindsey Kildow took a terrible spill during her practice run. Watching it literally makes me reconsider any potential ski trips I might have ever again. She spent a night in the hospital, and despite her injuries she shows up, competes, and does pretty darn well. As far as I'm concerned, she's a total bad ass.

As for the men's team... I have a huge crush on pretty much the entire team. Not since the summer Olympic's men's swim team have I seen such a strikingly handsome group of men. As I was googling Bode Miller the other day, I stumbled upon a fan website at maintained by three European girls called Bodelicious.net. Ted Ligety has just about the nicest smile and prettiest blue eyes. Toby Dawson, Travis Cabral, Jeremy Bloom... they're all just plain hot. And then there's that Australian guy who is an Olympian/millionaire entrapeneur. Basically, the next time someone tries to set me up on a date and wants to know what my "type" is, I think I will just send them a copy of this year's roster.

So, apparently Germany has more to offer than just an undying love for David Hasselhoff. They also have gianormous bunnies.

Meet Herman. Herman is a giant bunny. If you read the article you'll see that Herman is a special breed of bunny. This breed is aptly named the "German Giant". You'll also learn that, unfortunately, German Giants do not exist in the wild.

I've never really understood why someone would want a bunny for a pet. Maybe it's because I haven't spent a lot of time around bunnies, but they just don't seem like that much fun. My cousin had one and I always felt like the bunny really didn't want to be held or pet or played with. With dogs, you can tell that they like hanging out with you. But, bunnies... I feel like they get nothing out of the pet-owner relationship. Just look at the picture. Herman does not look amused.

I guess if I had to have a bunny as a pet, I'd probably prefer a giant bunny to a regular sized bunny. But I'd want to train it to be an attack bunny, because a robber isn't going to expect something like Herman to jump out at him when he tries to steal my TV.

Goo is awful. He's just so typical... arrogant, overweight, white man, with a goatee and too much hair gel. It's not like there's a shortage of "that guy" these days. The cocky nerd who has nothing to be cocky about.

Goo is the kind of person who comes over to ask me a question, but turns away from me as I'm talking because another guy walks up. Goo re-asks his question to this other guy right in the middle of my reply. Who does that? I'll tell you who... Goo does.

He's just so damn smug. Too big for his britches (and his britches are big). Always jumping in to give his own two cents... No one asked you, Goo!

UGH. Stupid Goo.

I know this might not something to be proud of... but I've had a crush on the Broncos quarterback for most of this season. I'd be lying if I said his porn-stache didn't have anything to do with it. But let's face it, he's tall, athletic, famous, and part of me wondered if he just might be my ticket back home to Denver. And of course there's the whole "he doesn't know I exist" aspect which just makes me love him more.

So, when I read that he's been seeing one of the Broncos cheerleaders, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. I think it's obvious from recent events that some cheerleaders might not be the kind of girls you'd bring home to mama. And then to find out that he lashed out at Denver fans. Come on! Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Jake. It's just not attractive. But I'm a loyal person and his hair just kept getting longer and longer; so all was forgiven...

...until last weekend. How could you do this to me, Jake Plummer? You had me convinced that this year we were going to go all the way. I had already planned on making orange and blue Broncos cupcakes to bring into the office. I made three different bets with three different Steelers fans under the assumption that you'd take care of things. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Jake Plummer, but I think this time it's over.